My boyfriend looks through my phone

They should be able to trust you enough to bring such concerns to you instead of going through your phone. At this point, they should be repentant of their act and seek ways of making amends. You should also explain how finding out that they went through your phone made you feel. The fact that he went thorough your phone is a clear indication that all is not well. At this point, both of you should address the issues in the relationship. It is also important to carefully evaluate the state of your relationship.

Sometimes, the incident may be the sign you need to make that permanent decision of leaving. Read more: View all posts by Rac.

Find out why they did it As much as you may not be able to understand whatever reason they have for going through your phone, you should try hear them out. Snooping and finding those things will ruin a super amazing event in your relationship. Like Masini, Rogers says that snooping is a gateway to worse things. You have each other's backs. Otherwise, you would just be friends with benefits.

A good rule of thumb.

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Trust is vital in a relationship, and when you snoop, it goes out the window. Plus, it's immature, Sbrochi says. Just go straight to the source. Probably not.

Inspector Gadget: Why You Should Never, Ever Look Through Your Partner’s Phone

If you're suspicious, you might be in the wrong relationship. By the time needing to snoop comes around, you're already in serious trouble.

And if your partner finds out what you did, they will feel awful. This is not the fun kind of TV-style spying; this is just a garden-variety horrible idea. There's an easy fix, she adds: "The karmically correct thing to do is to reveal your suspicions to your mate, allowing him or her the opportunity to either dispel your fears or confirm them. If you still feel your mate is not coming clean with his or her indiscretions, and you feel you must begin spying, then it's time to come to grips with the fact that the relationship is in dire trouble, regardless of what your espionage reveals.

Obviously, if you're pawing through your partner's underwear drawer, the two of you have a serious problem. Without trust, your relationship will be inherently wobbly at best: "You are building the house on a cracked foundation," she says.

So You Found Out Your S.O. Went Through Your Phone

If you want to be with your partner long-term, find a solution to your suspiciousness that does not involve distrust, and work on building up your trust in your partner. Here's what happens when you snoop, plain and simple: You break your partner's trust in a way that will never be the same, BetterHelp telehealth counselor and psychologist Nikki Martinez tells Bustle.

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A hallmark of a healthy relationship it is not, she says, and such an action an often lead to the end of a relationship. If you're happy with your partner, re-think things before going through their private stuff. Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Way , which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our Soundcloud page. Be prepared for him to be rightfully angry, and don't make excuses for the snooping e. And while you do need to respect his feelings about your violation of his trust, you also need to make sure he addresses why he wasn't honest with you about seeing his ex, or you'll keep feeling suspicious.

I Let My Boyfriend Look Through My Phone — Why Wouldn't I?

If you guys can get through this and move forward and trust each other again, I hope you'll come out a stronger couple for it. Have a dilemma of the heart you want to discuss? Email me at smittenbloggers gmail. Do you think our reader should confess and confront? How did you handle it?

The Dos and Don'ts of Snooping. By Christopher Rosa and Abby Gardner. By Julyssa Lopez. By Abby Gardner.

Topics couples dating dating issues dating questions reader's dilemma relationship advice relationships. Read More. By Glamour.


By Bella Cacciatore.